OCSM'19- Learning So Much

We are just over halfway through the summer and God is doing so much work here in Ocean City! Our days consist of work, ministry training, outreach, and fellowship. The days are long, but the weeks are flying by. I am sad to be leaving this team of people in August. 

A couple weeks ago we had a week centered on outreach. We set a goal as a mission to have over 2,400 gospel conversations. We spent every spare moment during the day sharing on the boardwalk. Our evenings also consisted of outreach. Either on the boardwalk or in Atlantic City or Wildwood. It was not like anything I had expected. My heart for the lost grew so much when I was in Atlantic City. I remember having a conversation with this woman who kept saying that nobody knows what happens after death or if there is a God. I could just see the confusion in her eyes. She ended up having to go meet her friends, so we did not get a chance to tell her that she does have a way of knowing all these things 100%. For the first time I really felt an ache in my heart for those who are lost and go through life only getting the chance to wonder about these things instead of having a certainty. God is good and we ended up having over 2,800 conversations that week! 

The week after that we had a week centered on reaching the world with the gospel. Every day we were given information about an unreached people group and encouraged to pray for them. We also did an activity that visually represented how much of the gospel is available in different parts of the world. I was placed into the China group. It’s funny how the Lord works because I have had some interest with doing missions in the past, but the idea of leaving the comforts of the United States had recently taken over and pushed that idea to the back of my mind. Even when I was considering missions, I told myself I would probably never go to Asia because that is just too much out of my comfort zone. God changed my heart so much that night. I got to get a small picture of how scarce the gospel is there and the strategy you have to use to have gospel conversations with people. Not only this, but one of my really sweet co-workers is from Central Asia and it has been really eye- opening to hear about her culture and what life is like over there. In summary of this paragraph, you’ll probably find me in somewhere in Asia in the near future. 

The week after that was the last week that staff was here with us. I am so thankful for my discipler and all the love and truth she poured into me while she was here. I tend to go straight to people for advice on life instead of bringing things to the Lord first. If I don’t like an answer that someone has given me then I ask someone else which in the end just leaves me more confused. Steph was one of the first people to ever admit to not knowing an answer and encouraged me to seek the Lord and be patient. Her saying “I don’t know” actually brought me so much peace. It really grew my dependence on the Lord. Thank you for giving me so much reassurance, Steph!

This past week’s theme was “None Like Him.” It focused on our view of God and how we tend to try and fit him into our lives the way we want so that everything works out in our favor. The reality is that God is so mysterious and way beyond our ability to fully comprehend at all. I was very discouraged at the beginning of this week and sort of through a tantrum on Tuesday. I laid out all of my issues before the Lord and wallowed in self-pitty. I tend to put my hope in people and when they fail me, or I don’t get my way I get irritated. Wednesday and Thursday, Roger Hershey came to speak on how to figure out what our calling is and yielding to the will of God. The Lord sort of slapped me in the face and convicted me of so many things. First, I had a view of how my life would end up and was annoyed that things weren’t going my way on my timeline. I had this expectation that in order to really start my life, I had to get married first and then I would be happy and follow the Lord wherever he wanted me to go. Relationships and marriage are all around me right now so seeing it happening to everyone else, but me, made me feel behind. He gave me a whole new perspective on singleness and pointed out that it’s His will and not my will and if I need to be single in order to accomplish his will then I need to be okay with that. Second, He really convicted me of my right to comfort. I have always wanted to go overseas and do missions, but I recently started thinking about how hard it was going to be and what I would have to sacrifice. I kept trying to imagine my life here, but it just did not seem very appealing to me at all. Just because this choice is the easiest does not mean it’s the right one. My desire to take steps of faith and do missions has definitely grown in the past week and I am so confused about what all of this means, but I am confident in the Lord and his plans and I am ready to take one step at a time. 

Every time I feel like the Lord is teaching me a lot, he still continues to show me things in my life and I am excited for these next four weeks.