Goodbye OCSM'19



About two weeks ago I said goodbye to 53 people who had become so near and dear to my heart and played such a big role in my life this summer. One thing that has been really hard for me to grasp is the fact that I cannot communicate all that God did this summer into words. I can’t wait to tell people about the conversations I got to have on the boardwalk and all the things that the Lord taught me and how quick we were to dig into each other’s lives and build deep friendships, but I know that even when that conversation is over, they will not have the same emotional connection that I have. Only those who were there to experience it themselves will truly understand the work that God did and the community that was created. And while that is frustrating, it is also reveals just how powerful our God is. We serve a God that does such a perfect and unique work in us, it can’t even be put into words and can only be understood if you are in the presence of it. 

As I head back to campus, I am excited and eager to see what God is going to do. Because of this summer, I feel more equipped to reach out to lost students. I feel more confident in knocking on dorm room doors and reaching out to people who are not a part of Cru. I feel more equipped to help lead a life group and disciple girls. With this excitement comes some new fears. In the past I have overworked myself to the point where ministry became a chore for me. Will I fall back into that habit? Spiritual pride was also pointed out to me last year. Will that be something I struggle with? Will I continually look down on people? I also have fears that Ocean City will end up just being another summer. Will I forget the crazy works of the Holy Spirit? Will I lose sight of everything I learned? All of these things I am unsure of, but I know that I can’t do this stuff on my own. I can’t keep myself from falling back into patterns of sin. I can’t lead or pour into others relying on only my own energy and strength. While there is a lot of unknown this year, I know that he will remain steadfast and true. I know that He will fill me up and strengthen me for everything that I get to do. He is enough and He is all I need. Praying for my heart to really believe that this school year.

Saying goodbye and leaving Ocean City was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. But I know that for all 54 of us to stay there would have been pointless. Our job was the spend the summer there and be ready to go back to campus more energized and more equipped by the Lord. We now have to spread out and reach more people with the Gospel. I am excited to see where each of these people end up. Hopefully I’ll end up back on the same team with some of them in the future. As we all go our separate ways, I know that Ocean City was truly a launching pad and none of us will ever forget it.

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